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Letter to My Children: Habits

Dear children

Remember I asked you about punctality that day..

And I asked you if your friends were punctual and both of you unanimously replied ‘No’…

Unfortunately, both of you have had to adapt and adjust to your friends’  ‘schedule’ because the person cannot wake up or ‘she is my good friend’, ‘it is normal’(of them to be  late)…why has it become ‘normal?!? Sorry..Mum finds that troubling.

Actually, I am disheartened you become resigned to what is your ‘good friend’s or good friends’ ’ lifestyle – you must speak up!

It is an ‘unhealthy’ habit in the long run – when one issues no sanctions on one’s intent and actions: it evidences itself in the form of a behaviour that cumulatively goes out of control – in my adult life now, I see it evidence in the young adults I encounter in work or services I provide, it manifests itself in self indulgent habits like ordering Uber and Grab cabs because one cannot wake up on time or stress and insomnia are a daily part of life because one cannot meet deadlines ..I believe both your mental health is imperative..believe Mum..unhealthy habits once dug deep is hard to shovel out and will require a huge overhaul and a deep-seated drive to burrow oneself out ..lateness is as bad as addictions..come to think of it, it might be as bad as addictions because one is addicted to being late……

And that is my parenting lesson to you today children, if you become caregivers or custodians of young charges in future, you must never cave in to their demands…do not let them successfully badger you for ‘extensions’- they must work within sanctions – it is for their mental wellness and health in the future – and I am not just talking about their physical health but mental health …that is if one wants to survive in this ‘cold and cruel world’…yup, we live in a brick and mortar city ecosystem ..get real! You got this! You have it within yourself to do something about this early.

Mum is trying not to be too superfluous in unnecessary details, but this is good to take note..

Not self imposing sanctions and ‘expiry dates’ on events and actions will affect not just you but also the people surrounding you. You begin seeing these cracks opening in your life and these crevices become wider and they get very apparent in your later social contacts and relationships..

Finally, overhaul an unhealthy habit gradually. Any step taken is still – Progress. Keep a journal (like how I teach you to track your expenses to be rid of unnecessary expenditure), do the same for your bothersome habit to track it.

Your caring mum 

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