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Letter to My Adolescent : Self Esteem

Dear children

Just that day I read on a parenting website that a parent should love a child for their imperfections.

That got me thinking…, why do we find it so hard to love our children for their imperfections?

Why do we, as adults, find it so hard to love ourselves for our imperfections?

Perhaps this is a good time to review some notes on ‘self-worth’ and ‘self-esteem’ I had pulled together some years ago as worthy reminders…

Self-esteem is that ability to like and love oneself, and feel worthwhile, despite all the ups and downs of life. 

It is our values…beliefs…and personal thoughts…day after day…by which we define our worth.

With healthy self-esteem, we like ourselves for ourselves and not because we can, or cannot do something.

Perhaps we should stop judging ourselves, by what happens to us in life, so we do not base our confidence on external events.

We can forgive ourselves and others for past mistakes. Harbouring old grudges takes up a lot of time and energy we could be using in other productive ways. 

Learn to think differently. When we fall into self-criticism and unconfident thoughts, note those, and change them to positive ones.

Let’s set goals on what we can realistically do, and then work, step-by-step, to develop that potential. 

Keep repeating to ourselves our strengths. Focus on what we are able to do.

We can remember self-confidence and self-esteem are learned, not inherited.

Therefore, a lack of confidence does not have to be permanent.

Since a lack of confidence and lack of positive self-esteem are both learned, they can be replaced by new learning.

Exercise self-compassion which is, patience and kindness, shown to oneself. 

We should be valuing ourselves; for being, simply, human.

We got this!

From: Mum

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