A couple of weeks ago, as Mother’s Day approached, I was feeling grumpy…
Those advertisements from furniture and household appliances stores or chain restaurants promoting good deals weren’t doing much to lighten my mood either…
Maybe age is catching up..
Then I went to revisit my children’s gifts to me every Mother’s Day (from the time they were pre-schoolers)
Then I resolved I was going to express to my family what a Mother’s Day should really be like ..and also what a mum really wants on Mother’s Day (or any other day really..)
So nary a heartbeat, I began tapping on my Iphone to publish on the family’s WhatsApp chat group the Five Things I Want From My Family On Mother’s Day
The first thing that caught my eye as I scanned my surroundings around me at home was the laundry..so that went into the first rant..
Please put back the clean laundry in your cupboards without me nagging you ( I think I felt my labour was underappreciated 🙁 )
2. Be kind to me, everyday.
NOT only on Mother’s Day.
A random phone call to ask me if I need anything from the store, a surprise gift, a text message to ask me how I am at any part of the day: an emoticon sent just to me to perk up my day ..you know ..the spontaneous stuff…
3. Spare a thought for my well-being
Recently I learnt from a Health and Wellness course that women die early due to strokes (you know, that sickness that strikes out of the ordinary when one spends too much time worrying) I hope that does not happen to me…
4. Stay on task.
My children, my wish is for you to grow into a career which you have picked that epitomises your natural talents and abilities.
But to do that, stay on task…so yeah, stay focused
5. Respecting me as an Individual
When I request of you to update our family calendar in COZI , please remember to do it. You are helping me in more ways than one.
One advantage of this is if I know ahead of time you won’t be back for dinner on any day of the week, I won’t need to plan for that day’s meals , which means not only do I save a trip to the market I also save time preparing the food and cooking the meal.
I can use that time saved to make more headway in personal and leisurely pursuits.
Remember that besides being your mother and the housekeeper (amongst several other roles), I am also a person in my own right and I too have a reason to look forward to a brand new day every day when I wake up.
Like you too, I live life purposefully and fulfillingly.
So what transpired after I had expressed my wishes ?
Not exactly what I had expected..
My younger child (now all of 15 years old) retorted that if I wanted to be respected, I should learn to respect her too !
And.. if there wasn’t enough retorts for the day , she slid another one in, “Do onto others what you want others to do unto you.” Her stinging comments was really getting to eat into me..
My little daughter who used to grip my hand whenever she felt shy or fearful was no more. She too was becoming an individual in her own right.
Some of those barbed comments made me realise I should also be LISTENING more to my teenagers..
Anyhow, my overt wishes made the upcoming Mother’s Day a little more subdued than it usually is…
On that day, my daughters got the hint and gave me nothing..
It was a day free from cooking and washing..I did neither..
There was one part of the day when my feathers were a little ruffled after my older daughter casually walked up to me to ask if her tchoukball gloves had been washed : she promptly retreated after I cast her a murderous look…
We had lunch out. I wanted to eat Nasi Lemak so we went to Adam Road Food Centre….
it was like a quarter of Singapore’s residents wanted to eat Nasi Lemak that day and decided to enjoy it at Adam Road Food Centre…
Not one person to join in snaking queues, I bought a plate of Nasi Lemak from a nondescript stall where there were only two persons in front of me.
I blissfully tucked into my meal..it was momentously the best nasi lemak then and there!
my teenagers looked incredulously at me as I happily crunched a crispy fish.
My husband was used to my idiosyncracies by now (after 22 years of marriage he would be ^^)
But he’s always been a sensitive soul..
At this moment, my bet is that all mothers reading this will agree nothing beats having their wants (or needs) being listened to…
Well…did any good come out of my rants ?
Well…there was some follow-up..the next morning , a cup was put back where it should belong…
A couple of days later, the teenagers’ bedroom was neatened..
And without any nagging ..or reminders from me..
On top of that….dear hubby decided to up my personal allowance from the following month..I felt appreciated..
All in all, it was a memorable Mother’s Day…I had learnt that it takes two hands to clap..I understood the significance of understanding first, then being understood..Most importantly, I remembered the importance …of everyone listening from the heart <3
- This is an encouraging article to read for the Modern Stay-at-Home Mum 🙂